quagmire: a soft, boggy area of land that gives way underfoot; an awkward, complex or hazardous situation
When Sign-Up Genius first launched, it was the answer to the soccer mom’s prayers. Then the lacrosse moms, hockey moms, baseball moms. Room parents and Parents’ Associations picked it up too.
Sign-Up Genius is billed as an online volunteer management system that enables volunteers to sign up to drive on field trips, bring snacks to games, brownies to class parties, and more. When you sign in, you can see what other volunteers are bringing, and which snacks they already have covered, so you don’t step on anyone’s toes. Great, right?
And when I was diagnosed with breast cancer, we used it so people could volunteer to bring my family dinner. A wonderful gift. I should LOVE Sign-Up Genius.
But you are supposed to register and create a password that is, of course, different from your other millions of passwords. Now our school is also having you register for Cheddar Up, an online payment system for events with the motto “collecting money from groups made easy”… and it is also great, except that you need to create another password.
My son’s soccer team sends emails telling you to log on to Bonzi, where you can see your message about the upcoming game. Why can’t they just email the info? Another password.
My doctor’s office does the same. “Log onto our portal to see your message.” “Log onto our portal to see your test results.” I called one office and told them I did not want to register for their portal. I had too many passwords to remember for too many portals. Could they please send me information in an email? Apparently not.
And when you have an actual healthcare crisis, be prepared for the Portal Quagmire, where your multiple physicians, surgeons, hospitals, insurance company and HSAs all have their very own portal of which to be proud. “Register for our new portal to…”
“But please… don’t forget your unique password… don’t keep a list of passwords in case someone steals it… and if our system gets hacked at any time, we will ask you to come up with yet another password that you will rapidly forget because it is no longer the only one you can remember.”
That was the one you created when you were 14 or 15, and your bank opened its first-ever ATM. Your best friend’s name. Your childhood dog. The house number where you grew up.