Yesterday was the first Saturday of summer vacation, and a series of very small events in our day inspired the thought that I should chart the following for mothers everywhere.
How many times does a child need to hear, “I don’t like Garfield” before he ceases to read Garfield comics out loud in the kitchen? I know it’s mean, but really? It’s been Garfield quotes for months.
How many times does mom need to say, “get your shoes on” before three boys even look for them?
How many mornings will a nine year old leave his pajamas in the middle of the hall after being scolded for just that?
How many times does mom need to ask what a boy wants for breakfast before he looks up confused and asks, “where’s my bagel?”
How many times will his sneakers show up in the Lost & Found months after he last wore them? “Where did these come from?” “I have no idea,” as if it were pure magic.
How many times will the guitar, which is as big as he is, get left in the back seat on a “band practice day”?
How many dinners will mom serve before no one at the table groans?
How many days will go by this summer without anyone in the house saying “I’m bored!” or “Today’s the worst day ever”?
How many times will mom have to tell the five year old to lift the lid on the potty before the pee comes out?
Ten year old approaching with the Garfield book.