How Not to Out-Cool Your Brother

Lately, we spend much time at dinner trying to out-cool one another. Last night was no different.

“I’m awesome!” sang third grader, pulling out his best Zeus pose with a mouthful of pasta. “You can’t name someone who is more awesome than me! Bam!”

“You’re not always the best,” said the fourth grader, who does not yet grasp the art of self-promotion.

“Oh yeah, who is?”

“I am… sometimes.” But he desperately wanted out of the conversation.

The preschooler, who typically climbs on the “I’m the greatest” bandwagon by wiggling his very small butt at you, tried instead to weasel out of a long day of bad behavior. “Dad gets a sweet convertible, then he gets whatever he wants. Bam!”

“Pop quiz!” the fourth grader blurted out, “Who was the first Pope?”

Interesting way to change the subject.

“Did you know he wanted to be put on the cross upside-down so he didn’t die like Jesus?”

Total chick magnet.

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