My Grandma Arms

Many years ago, a film professor of mine said, “A woman should retire her arms by age 35.”

At the time, I was 25 and thought her a bit Hollywood. But at 45, I understand she was just advising that we take care of business before it’s too late… and somebody sees…

Arms are rarely mentioned when men talk about the sexy parts of a woman’s body. And most women do not list them as the part of their body they most wish they could change. Small boobs, big ankles, bulging belly, wide hips all come in ahead of arms. In fact, I don’t think I’ve heard anyone sigh, “If I could only feel better about my arms…”

Then suddenly, you hit your mid-forties.

Unless you’ve actually focused on keeping your arms toned, they seem to be the first thing to “go grandma” on you. Your legs still look good – everyone has to walk, right? Your waist may still exist. Underwire bras give you a lift if you need it.

But then it’s spring. You put your cute dress on for a graduation or a night out. You know, the sleeveless one? And your arms give you away.

You point to the stage where a family member is about to receive a diploma, and out of the corner of your eye, you see movement. Actual jiggling. Like grandma.

From that moment on, it’s all about the arms.


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