Motherhood: Things I’ve Recently Heard Myself Say

In the last few weeks, I’ve made a few statements as a result of living with three young boys. Prior to motherhood, I would never have imagined that such statements would be required of anyone. I also never imagined trying to fall asleep at night, and just cracking up at my day. So I thought I would share:

To the youngest at the older boy’s school:
“No you may not pee there. There are video cameras, and you still have to get in.”

At a restaurant with a buffet:
“Carrying slabs of bacon across a restaurant without a plate is really bad manners. Don’t do it again.”

Getting ready for tae kwan do:
“I don’t care if you hate them. You are wearing underwear to tae kwan do. No one should have to be your partner and see your penis every time they do a sit-up.”

About our new “no jokes rule” after the youngest got in trouble at school:
“Preschoolers get in trouble when they tell ‘Yo Mama’ jokes to their teacher.”

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